The P-G wasn’t going to run a story, but they couldn’t say no to using the word “Scofflaw” in a headline

It is your last chance to make things right with your parking tickets, the P-G informs us:

After 30 days, warrants will be issued for those who fail to contact the court. In addition to possible incarceration, defendants may also be required to pay costs associated with serving the warrant, according to Mr. Billotte.

Holy crap, you say, I don’t want to go to jail. Can’t I just pay someone off?

Yes, of course you can. Make sure the check is made out to the city, not to the police officer who cited you. The first is called a “fine.” The second is called a “bribe,” which, while effective, is technically illegal. To see if there is a summary offense pending against you, go to the web site and search your name. If it appears, there is a telephone number to call.

I went, reassured myself that the government isn’t after me, and immediately left the site, never to return.

Of course I didn’t do that. I looked up local luminaries, to see who was scoffing at the law. I didn’t find many, but City Councilor Darlene Harris is in there. So is Lawrenceville anti-crime crusader Tony Ceoffe, who was no doubt too busy crusading against quality-of-life crimes to avoid committing them. Twanda Carlisle, despite her mounting troubles with the law, managed to avoid this specific legal thicket.

I recommend everyone use this resource to first make sure that they are not in danger of imprisonment, then to joyously embarrass friends, enemies, and people you see in the newspaper.

2 Comments so far

  1. North Side Pittsburgher (unregistered) on October 17th, 2007 @ 9:58 am

    Actually, the Harris’ have 3, her husband ‘John R’ also has 2. Interesting. Above the law as usual I guess!

    :-\


  2. Sandy (unregistered) on October 20th, 2007 @ 11:14 pm

    Mac

    Is Tony Ceoffe only 23 years old? I think you just accused an innocent man of committing a crime. I wonder if there is a liability issue here. Ill let Tony know and see what he thinks.



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