Local Cats Release Hostage; Motznik’s Family Relieved to Have Dog Back

Pittsburgh has its fair share of stupid, money-draining boondoggles, but the one that nearly passed today would have been one of the stupidest.

Alik posted about this before, but I’ll reiterate: Councilman Jim Motznik is sick of losing fish out of his pond, so he wants all cats to be licensed. His proposal was defeated today by a margin of 1 vote.

That’s it. One.

In a staggering reversal of Pittsburgh political practices, voter-againster Jeff Koch said it was “an extra tax burden,” suggesting that members of the City Council actually believe that some taxes are not good. I’m still boggling.

One suggestion endorsed by some is to create a Cat Bounty, wherein Pittsburghers are given money for any intact cat brought in for fertility reassignment surgery. This might work, except for the cat farms that will doubtlessly spring up, as enterprising entrepreneurs breed a few hundred cats a year and deposit a whole mess of soon-to-be-euthanized felines into the system while simultaneously depositing a sum of money into their checking accounts.

I propose a different solution, one that could make a somebody very rich: Cat Traps. The first model could be a deadfall with a cheezburger as bait.

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